One of the biggest mistakes you can make when you are going through a divorce is not having a clear idea of what you are looking for and what goals you are trying to accomplish. If you know what you want to get out of the divorce, you will feel less lost and confused. If you know where you are going and have a plan for getting there, you will be able to assess your progress and make adjustments in your plan if necessary. Without a plan, you will be doing nothing more than paying attorney bills and wondering how long the whole thing can continue. You need an action plan to insure that your divorce lawyer can properly represent you. Try to separate your emotions from the legal so that you can clearly think about what is realistic with respect to your kids, property and assets. Negative emotions are the reality of divorce, so its important to realize from the beginning that you are going to have to deal these emotions. Using the divorce process as a way to punish or harass your soon to be ex-spouse does nothing but prolong the process and cause additional hurt feelings. If you don't allow your emotions to dictate your actions in a divorce, you are more likely to get a quick amicable resolution to all of your marital issues. Work with your lawyer to prioritize your goals and stay focused on what you are trying to accomplish, and that is to get through your divorce in the least amount of pain.
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