Wednesday, December 16, 2009
One of the biggest issues that couples face when they are going through a divorce is the effect that the divorce has on their children. I'm often asked whether I have any helpful tips for getting a child through a divorce in one piece. While I think the most important tip that I give clients is to keep your child out of the divorce process and do your best to co-parent your children in a friendly and civil manner, counseling and other programs are also helpful. I became aware of a program called Sandcastles which is a program for children to help them learn about divorce and to group a child together with other children who are going through the same thing that they are. Sometimes children feel all alone when their parents are divorcing and knowing that other children are going through the same thing can be very comforting. If you are interested in this program and how you can get your child involved, see:
Monday, December 14, 2009
There are many people out there who are going to be celebrating Christmas this year for the first time as a divorced couple. Creating ways to cope through the holidays can help make the time not only manageable, but enjoyable. This is especially true in the event that you have children. Here are a few helpful tips.
1. Make new traditions. There is no time like the present to create new traditions with your children, especially if it is not your year to have them on Christmas Day itself.
2. Surround yourself with family and friends. Now is not the time to be alone. Fill your calendar with events and don't pass up the opportunity to attend a party or two.
3. Make New Years Resolutions that you can actually stick to.
4. Don't make your children feel sorry for you if they are not spending the holiday with you. It will be hard enough on your children to be without both parents for Christmas, so its important not to project your feelings on them.
5. Don't spend money that you don't have. Retail therapy is not only a bad idea, it can provide you with a great deal of buyer's remorse in the new year in the form of high credit card bills.
6. Stay away from excessive eating and drinking.
7. Keep expectations reasonable.
8. Make time for yourself. Its easy to get caught up in what you can do for everyone else around the holidays. Taking some time for yourself can help you keep your sanity.
9. Take a break from the divorce madness. If your divorce is not yet final, take a break from litigation and animosity.
10. Remember that "this too shall pass."