Saturday, December 20, 2008

Divorced and Still Together

One of the common things that I am seeing in my practice as a result of the economy and poor housing market is people stuck with homes that they cannot sell. Some people choose to let the home foreclose, others choose to remain in the home together, even after a divorce. Some people are able to amicably live with one another after divorce with few issues and problems, others find themselves fighting over everything from who is going to get the master bedroom to whether they can bring dates home with them. Its hard to move on emotionally if you are still living with your ex, but it can be a solution to financial woes, so long as it doesn't result in long term emotional trauma.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Divorce and Christmas

As Christmas approaches, I'm sure there are many families out there who are dealing with their first Christmas without the traditional family Christmas. There are usually arguments and fights as to where the children are going to go and how the holiday will be split. I usually encourage my clients to put their children first and think about what they may want. I don't like to give children false illusions that their parents will be getting back together, but sometimes deciding to try to do the holiday together can be good for your children to show them that even though mom and dad are getting a divorce, they are still able to be together for the sake of their children. If that is simply not an option, remember that its important to start new traditions with your children so they can help assimilate to how life and holidays are going to look when your divorce is final. If anyone has any suggestions on how to help children with their first "divorce" Christmas, I encourage you to post those suggestions here for all other readers.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

How To Find A New Girlfriend After A Divorce

Have you recently been divorced and looking to find a date? If so, you may be able to convince your mom to place an ad in the paper for you to find a new person to date. It appears a Tampa mother has done just that. I find it hard to believe that a grown man would be okay with his mother placing an advertisement for him to find him a girlfriend, but I guess, "to each his own".

To read about the mom looking for a good mate for his son, see:

Sunday, December 14, 2008

20/20/20 Rule In Military Divorce

I have had the pleasure of having quite a few military clients over the past few years, some serving here in the United States, others serving over in Iraq, Afghanistan, or other military bases around the world. I've also represented spouses of military men and women who have many questions about what military benefits they may or may not enjoy when their divorce is finalized. Almost always, a military spouse will be entitled to a portion of military retirement, and how much a spouse is entitled to is based on a calculation which takes into account the years of military service, the years of the marriage, and how many years of service overlap your marriage.

Another major concern for military spouses is whether or not they are going to be entitled to health insurance after their divorce is finalized, and the answer to that is also based upon a calculation called the 20/20/20 Rule. If you have been married for 20 years, your spouse has been in the military for at least 20 years, and you have 20 years of marriage overlapping your 20 years of marriage, then you are entitled to the same benefits as your soon to be ex-spouse meaning health care and full commissary benefits. Another rule is the 20/20/15 rule which means if you have been married for 20 years, your spouse has been in the military for 20 years and at least 15 years of your marriage has overlapped his/her military service, you are entitled to health care benefits for a year after your divorce is finalized. There are other rules and benefits to be aware of if you are getting a divorce and your spouse is in the military and I encourage everyone who is getting a divorce to do your research and find out what you are entitled to before you sign any divorce paperwork or go into a courtroom. To learn more about the rights and benefits of former spouses of servicemen and servicewomen, see:

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Novel About Divorce in 1864

Divorce always makes for good stories, but they made even better stories in the mid 19th century, mostly because divorce was a rarity and when there was a divorce that had sordid details or from a prominent family, it most certainly made news. The public has always been fascinated with divorce, especially divorces that are mired down in scandal or divorces of public figures. A new novel by Emma Donoghue called "The Sealed Letter" recounts the facts and people surrounding a sensational divorce in 1864. I always think that its a good idea to escape your own life and into another person's life especially when you are going through rough times, so I recommend this book so you can see that divorce facts haven't changed all that much, but we have become desensitized about divorce in general.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Stricter Punishment for Bigamy

A con man pleaded no-contest to bigamy in Tampa a few weeks ago and was sentenced to 27 months in a prison and this sentence is in conjunction with federal bank fraud charges which he also plead guilty to. Basically, this man will spend just over two years in a minimum security/white collar prison for defrauding a few woman for years and claiming to be something that he was not. Is this a harsh enough sentence? I would like to think not and believe that there should be some harsher sentences for people who literally commit fraud. What are your thoughts, please share them here.

The article that this blog is based upon can be found at:

Monday, December 1, 2008

Should It Matter That Adoptive Parents Are Gay?

The following article addresses a recent Florida case where a gay couple were taking care of two children as a result of them coming into their care through the Department of Children and Families and their desire to formerly adopt the children after they had been in their care for a long period of time. I raise the question here, should it matter that the couple wishing to adopt these children are gay, and do you buy the arguments that were made to stop the adoption from happening?