Remembering 9/11

I usually use this site as a forum for discussing topics related to family law. Today, I'd like to take a moment to remember September 11, 2001. Its hard to believe that its been six years since that infamous day in American history. I was living in Washington DC this time six years ago, and I remember, just like most Americans, every thing that happened on that day and know that it will be etched into my memory for the rest of my life. I'm sure everyone has taken a moment or two to reflect on what happened six years ago. I hope that no matter what you are going through in life, including if you are going through a difficult divorce, you hold your family members close today and keep in mind what is really important in life.

Information Bargaining Power

In divorce, one of the most powerful bargaining tools in settlement negotiations is one party's nervousness about certain information, either personal or financial, becoming public knowledge. Sometimes a person doesn't want parents, friends, co-workers or the general public to know about extra-marital affairs, drug abuse, or other personal issues and settle their case as a way to keep damaging information out of the wrong hands. In other cases, a person agrees to settle their case in order to get out of having quasi-criminal financial information disclosed to the court or public. This seems to be the case for L. Dennis Kozlowski, former CEO of Tyco International. He is currently serving jail time for embezzling funds from the company, and now, based on the break down of divorce settlement negotiations, may have his assets disclosed for all the world to see. I certainly don't suggest using low handed or dirty tricks to get what you want in a divorce, but I do encourage everyone to look at the big picture and determine the cost benefit analysis of taking your case before a judge.

If you would like to read the latest concerning L. Dennis Kozlowski, see: http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601109&sid=azV5_TLixixU&refer=news

Downward Spiral

When it rains, it pours. Tim Donaghy, the NBA referee who is accused of betting on games in which he refereed, is now facing a divorce. He lost his job, may potentially be thrown in jail, and is now going through a divorce which may cost him hundreds of thousands of dollars, not to mention time away from his children. I'm not sure whether he is guilty of the crimes that he is accused of, but one thing is for sure, when a person's professional life is in the toilet, this has a profound effect on a person's marriage. Whether the professional mishaps are a result of a company downsizing, or it is a result of person's conscious actions, professional stress has a way of spilling over into a person's marriage. The demise of Tim Donaghy's marriage may just be the beginning of his problems, but its clear that his professional missteps have contributed to her personal problems.

If you would like to read the latest concerning Mr. Donaghy's marriage, see: http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/basketball/2007/09/09/2007-09-09_tim_donaghys_wife_files_for_divorce-2.html

Mediation First

It seems that more and more people, as well as States, are following a mediation trend for divorce cases which has been a norm here in Florida for years. Mediation is a wonderful process that provides couples to make decisions regarding their family, finances and future, rather putting all of these things in the hands of a stranger in a black robe. To read more about this growing trend and whether this process can benefit you, see:

http://www.earthtimes.org/articles/show/news_press_release,173392.shtml

Norman's Divorce Finally Settles

Many of my divorce clients are very concerned with how long the divorce process is going to take. Most of the time my answer is the same, which is........ it depends on you and it depends on your spouse. If you are both unwilling to settle and also unwilling to provide the other party with proper financial disclosure, your case can drag on for months or even years. While there are many reasons to go to court, there are also many reasons not to. Fighting for the sake of fighting simply wastes time and will cost you thousands of dollars in attorneys' fees. I think everyone can learn from what happened to the Norman's in their very public divorce. Their case is finally settled, but it took a lot of time and a great deal of attorneys' fees.

If you would like to read the most recent news concerning the divorce of Greg Norman, see the following: http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,22377849-23109,00.html

Shaq Files For Divorce

It looks like another celebrity marriage has hit the divorce road. Shaquille O'Neal has filed for divorce from his wife of five years. It appears that there was a Prenuptial Agreement which should help to protect Mr. O'Neal's millions, but it won't help resolve any issues related to the children. As we have seen in the Spears v. Federline divorce debacle, a prenuptial agreement does not and cannot resolve issues related to child custody and child support. Therefore, many celebrity divorces still become "ugly" because there is no real way to predestine what will happen with a couple's children, because the best interest of the child standard will always prevail. Hopefully for the O'Neal's sake, their divorce is finalized in a relatively news unworthy way, because that most certainly would lead all of us to believe that they are putting their differences aside in order to put the needs of their children first.

Do It Yourself Divorce

There are a growing number of people who finalize their divorces without the aid of an attorney. If you and your soon to be ex-spouse have come to an agreement with respect to all of the issues regarding your divorce, there is no reason that you cannot file all of your divorce paperwork on your own, especially if money is an issue. Some courts are even developing new systems and programs to insure that the pro se petitioner and respondent know exactly what paperwork needs to be filed with the Court before a Judge will grant them a divorce. This is half the battle when you are attempting to navigate the often paperwork intensive waters of divorce. I often times encourage people who come to my office to attempt to finalize their divorce on their own if they are sure that they aren't going to be bamboozled by their spouse and are confident in filling out all the necessary paperwork, as well as going to Court on their own. The following article talks more about the emergence of the pro se divorce here in Florida:

http://www.heraldtribune.com/article/20070904/NEWS/709040366