Lucky 7s

Its estimated that 30,000 couples were married on July 7, 2007 (7/7/2007). 7s show up in mythology and religion and the Number 7 is often considered to be lucky and magical. With 7/7/07 only happening one time during a century, 7/7/07 may be the busiest wedding date of the 21st century. Are these couples more likely to stay together than those not married on such a numerically significant date? That depends on whether you consider luck to have anything to do with a successful marriage. More people are likely to consider hard work, understanding, and common goals as the keystones to a long happy marriage. However, I believe that a little luck never hurt anyone. Especially because luck can help you side-step health and financial misfortune which sometimes can be a catalyst to the demise of a marriage. For those of you married on 7/7/2007, congratulations, and I hope that lady luck is on your side when it comes to a long marriage.

Resuscitating Marriages

I’m always happy to hear about new and unique ways to help preserve marriage. In South Florida, a church and pastor are getting into the marriage saving business. Through a six week session, which includes newlyweds and couples who have been married for years, the Pastor helps these couples learn how to relate to one another and teaches them techniques to save their marriages, or help strengthen marriages which are already strong. The unique thing about this program is that the sessions are together with other couples, and this program has state funding. With 50% of marriages ending in divorce, this program and others like them, are a wonderful way to try to cut that statistic.

If you want to learn more about this program, see the following: http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/southflorida/sfl-flbmarriage0708nbjul08,0,1275446.story?coll=sfla-home-headlines

Divorce As A Teaching Tool For Women

Without a doubt, divorce chances a person's lifestyle, and this is especially true in those cases where a couple gets a divorce, and a stay at home mother is forced into the workforce for the first time in their life. In a short term marriage, any alimony award will be for a short duration of time, and child support only goes so far. Therefore, many Wives are learning the lessons of how to become self-sufficient and along with those lessons they are finding their true selves. The following article talks about how divorce as a great feminist teacher:

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20070705.wxlgenex05/BNStory/lifeFamily/home

Clearwater the Divorce Capital of the Nation

It seems that according to a New York Times study, Clearwater, Florida has more divorced residents than any other large city in the United States. Other Florida cities ranked high on this list as well. Why is Florida such a popular place for people to get divorced, or flock to once they received a divorce? I think its a combination of the fact that if you and your spouse can agree on all terms, you can get divorced in 20 days and the fact that Florida is a no fault state. No matter what caused your divorce, or whose fault the demise of the marriage is, these facts will have little bearing on the financial outcome of a divorce. Or, perhaps the explanation is even more simple than that, meaning that Florida just has a large population of people from all walks of life, and divorce does not discriminate. So, if you are divorced, getting divorced, or thinking of getting a divorce, chances are there are a lot of people in Florida to commiserate with.

If you would like to read about the NY Times survey, read: http://cbs4.com/watercooler/local_story_185090337.html

Modern Day Orphanages

There is never a shortage of stories concerning children who have been abused and/or neglected and have no place to go. What happens to these children if being placed with a foster parent or family member is not an option? In some circumstances, these children go to group homes such as Florida United Methodist Children's Home ("FUMCH") in Enterprise, Florida. These group homes provide a safe place for children and gives the stability, love and structure that they were lacking in their own homes. These group homes are a necessary part of our society and everyone should know that these places not only exist, but can use help in the form of volunteerism or money. Without FUMCH and other organizations like them, children with no where else to go, end up in situations which can be far worse than the home environment they were removed from. If we collectively take responsibility for making sure children's homes are funded, we can insure that every child has a place to feel safe.

If you would like to donate or learn more about Florida United Methodist Children's Home, visit: http://www.fumch.org/index.asp

Key To Happy Marriage

A new survey conducted by The Pew Research Center found that people consider children less of a key to a happy marriage than a similar survey conducted in 1990. Sharing in household chores was very important to 62% of the people who were polled while only 41% classified children as important to a happy marriage. In a margin of 3-1, couples stated that the main purpose of marriage is the "mutual fulfilment and happiness" of adults rather than the "bearing and raising of children". My question is whether this survey may be tied to the decline of the divorce rate? If more and more people are getting married with the purpose of sustaining a happy and fulfilled life, rather than getting married for the purpose of having children, could this actually be good for marriage? Some scholars believe that the fulfillment of one's own happiness is actually responsible for the decline in family values. However, does this necessarily mean the decline of marriage? While marriage and children do go hand in hand, people are finding that children do not necessarily mean that a marriage will be happy and successful. It appears that the more that a couple shares with respect to the responsibilities in marriage, the more likely their marriage is to be happy.

If you would like to read about the Pew Research Center Survey, visit: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070701/ap_on_re_us/marriage_survey;_ylt=Ajx252OIL92F1ke2r_noNk7MWM0F

Financial Planners for Divorce

Financial Planners Take Guesswork Out of Divorce

ERIC SMITH The Daily News

Jim Whitehead has been a financial planner for the past five years, helping clients manage their retirement, their wealth, their estates, their children's college funds - pretty much their entire financial pictures.
But Whitehead, a partner at Shoemaker Financial in Germantown, said he has long believed the financial planning industry was ill-equipped to help clients manage the financial complications of a divorce, including how to divide a stock portfolio or 401(k) properly.
"I could guess at it, and I could give you a real smart answer, but I didn't feel secure with that answer," Whitehead said. "I didn't feel like I could do anyone justice because it wasn't what I was trained to do."
With this in mind, Whitehead set out earlier this year to become a certified divorce financial analyst (CDFA), a relatively new designation geared to help planners handle the financial needs of clients in a divorce.
"When you're going through a divorce, you're out in the middle of the forest," Whitehead said. "You can't see the trees around you. You're just trying to breathe and get through this forest, this uncharted territory."
Divvying it up
From the splitting of assets to the custody of children, divorce can be messy. In the United States, close to one out of every two marriages ends in divorce, meaning the need for knowledgeable divorce professionals is immense.
The bulk of a divorce proceeding is handled by attorneys who deal with legal issues such as child custody. But there's often more to a divorce than who gets the children on the weekend and who gets them during the week. That's where a divorce attorney might refer a client to a CDFA.
"In divorce, you're talking about people going their separate ways," Whitehead said. "You have children issues, you have asset issues and you have emotional issues. Sometimes people want to fight over a set of china. Well, you need your legal department to help you with that. Sometimes you need to figure out a best way to split the assets. I can help the legal side with that."
Whitehead noted that couples often have precarious financial scenarios to work out with multiple accounts totaling large amounts of money. One example of where a CDFA's expertise comes in handy is the completion of a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO), the legal document that divvies up pension or retirement accounts during a divorce.
"Lawyers do a marvelous job, but they're doing legal work," Whitehead said. "Sometimes you need somebody else to come in and help with the financial picture just to make sure it's where it needs to be.I'm there to be an expert in what I already do."
Growing field
There are just eight CDFAs in the Memphis area, according to the Southfield, Mich.-based Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts (IDFA), which, according to its Web site, is "the premier national organization dedicated to the certification, education and promotion of the use of financial professionals in the divorce arena."
The IDFA certifies a CDFA, who must pass a course before adding the designation behind his or her name. The number of CDFAs is increasing by 25 percent each year, according to the IDFA.
"If you're focusing on wealth management, the CDFA may not be the best degree," Whitehead said. "If you're focusing on company benefits, it may not be the best degree. But if you're focusing on relationships with people, you have to understand that this is going to be an issue."
Divorce is an issue these days, with complex retirement funds and other investments making the issue even more muddled - and making the need for expert advice more necessary.
"What we're looking for in any divorce is a happy and fast ending," Whitehead said.
Taking care of both sides
Another case that might be best handled by a CDFA is whether one spouse or the other should keep the house while the other one keeps the cash. This might look good on paper at a superficial level, but it can be dangerous if the spouse who keeps the house doesn't earn enough income to pay the property taxes or utility bills.
"Let's look at budgets and day-to-day lifestyle and can both of them be OK," Whitehead said. "Let's make the best financial decision for you and let's look at the best financial decision for the other party. Let's make the best financial decision for the split of this partnership."
Kathy Williams, senior vice president and chief compliance officer for Waddell & Associates Inc., earned her CDFA designation about a year and a half ago. She cited a similar example when touting the benefits of a CDFA.
Williams said some of the many questions that arise in divorce cases include: "Who brought the wealth into the marriage? How much did they co-mingle the assets during the marriage? Was the wife a stay-at-home and the husband earned everything? How will the wife live after the husband leaves? How are the kids going to be taken care of? Who's going to take care of college, stock options, 401(k)s?"
All those questions need to be answered so each party benefits as much as possible.
"We want to do it right and make sure both sides can live happily," Williams said.
Walked a mile in those shoes
Whitehead has gone through a divorce. So has Williams. Both readily admit it, and both said it has helped them deal with the stress their clients might face during the process.
"I'm divorced," Williams said, "and that's how I ended up being the expert in divorce for our clients because I've been through it, so I knew a lot of the issues that you go through - not just financial but psychological. I'm kind of the grief counselor, so to speak."
Whitehead echoed those comments.
"I am divorced," he said, "but that doesn't mean I think it's the right decision. At the same time, if I can give counsel to people to help them not make that drastic decision, I want to be able to do that too."