Monkey in the Middle

Hi folks and happy summer!! I have been painfully absent from this blog for months and apologize for those of you who have been avid readers and like to know "what's new" in Florida family law.

I'd like to take the opportunity to welcome, Josh Martell, Esquire, to our firm who will be assisting with our practice, and will also be providing his services in the area of criminal law. He will be starting his own criminal blog soon and we'll provide a link to that blog when its available.

There was a lot of drama in Florida earlier this spring/summer about possible legislation that if it had passed, would drastically change alimony laws and child time-sharing. The governor vetoed the bill at the last minute and the bill was not signed into legislation. Regardless of the attempts to effectuate change this summer, I feel that there is change on the horizon and everyone needs to be prepared for those changes when they occur. I will keep everyone updated as the changes make their way through our legislative system.

I came across the link above by accident, and I thought that the subject of the article was in line with a great deal of cases that I have had in the past. I always tell my clients that divorce is partly emotionally but mostly legal and that they should save their emotional questions and issues for their therapists, friends and family. While I am happy to be a sounding board, I am not a licensed mental health professional and often times I can't do anything productive in order to assist with the emotional aspects of a divorce. After reading the article linked above, I'm reminded that many times, people use their children as sounding boards as well when it comes to their divorce both during and after the case has been finalized. I think that this article gives good advice and is a helpful reminder to all parents out there that your kids should never be put in the middle of your divorce and should be free to have a good relationship with both you and your ex spouse regardless of your feelings about your ex. As the dust settles after a divorce, when it comes to your children, you owe it to them to always shelter them from the conflict that may exist between you and your ex spouse. Children grow up, move on, graduate, get married, and have children. The best gift you can give them is the knowledge that despite of what has happened in the past, you are able to be more than just civil, but friendly and cordial. While this is easier said than done, especially in situations where it can be argued that someone wasn't a very good parent after a divorce, but it is what is best for your children.

Divorce and Depression

I read an article online about a man in California who murdered his two children and then took his own life. He was going through a divorce and had recently lost his job. From the articles that I read, no one said whether there were signs that this gentleman was depressed, acting unusual or had a violent history. I see many people come through my office who are depressed, angry, lonely, or otherwise not acting like themselves. We in the family law world often say that criminal attorneys get to see bad people at their best and family law attorneys get to see good people at their worst. Its important that you find help if you are struggling with your new life and if you suspect that your soon to be ex-spouse is not emotionally stable. Seek help from local law enforcement and the courts or encourage those members of your family or friends who are struggling with the reality of their divorce to seek help from a mental health professional. Unfortunately tragedies like the one that happened in California may still happen, however, don't be afraid to seek help if you feel that you are emotionally in trouble.

To read the article upon which this blog is based see:

Healing After Divorce

Many people who continue to live in the marital home after a divorce are concerned about whether or not they can cope emotionally with living in the same home that was the "scene of the crime". Redecorating can be one way that you can turn your home back into a positive place that you love coming home to, but often times redecorating becomes a question of money. The following article gives some helpful suggestions on how to redecorate on a budget after a divorce.

http://newsok.com/redecorating-may-aid-healing-after-divorce/article/3312130

Divorce As a Blessing

Sometimes its not a divorce that causes children to have problems, but the way in which the children's parents handle themselves after the divorce. Some people argue that staying in an unhappy marriage causes more harm to children then deciding to divorce. I think the jury is still out on that one, but the following article talks about the blessing that a divorce can be on a family:

http://www.evliving.com/life.php?action=fullnews&id=9869